The judge gave Desirie Romero 30 days. If she stayed in Fresno Mission’s program for one month, her children could come home. She had already gone a year and a half without them. She had gotten sober, and her kids still weren’t home. Deep down, she didn’t believe she would ever get them back.
This is the story of those 30 days, and everything that came after.
“I can’t even sleep without them”
These days, Desirie Romero has a hard time spending even one night away from her five children. When her mom or babysitter keeps them overnight, the house feels too quiet.
“I didn’t have them for a year and a half,” she says. “So being without them for a day brings up a lot of that.”
On those quiet nights, Desirie scrolls through old photos and videos of her kids. Some of those pictures are hard to look at. They show a life she never wants to return to and they remind her how far her family has come.
Before Fresno Mission, Desirie and her children lived in a hotel for a while. Then they moved to a ranch out in the country with no running water and no power. They got by on a generator and big totes of water.
“We were stuck in our addiction,” she says. “Hard to get out of.”
CPS stepped in, and her children were removed from her care. Even after Desirie got sober, she moved back to the ranch, where she was the only one sober. Her kids still weren’t home.
“I felt stuck,” she remembers. “I used to always cry out to God, then feel like I was unworthy of his prayers. Something had to change, and I didn’t even know where to start.”
Years of being talked down to had taken a toll. “It started off with somebody else’s voice,” she says, “and then turned into my own. I started believing it.”
Desirie heard about Fresno Mission from a friend she met in a CPS parenting class. Both women were near the end of their cases and both wanted to do things differently. Her friend was entering the Mission’s program and didn’t want to do it alone.
At first, the commitment of about 18 months felt huge. Desirie started in community care and her case was moving forward. Still, she felt time running out. “I couldn’t waste time when it came to them,” she says.
The day before her court date, she entered the program. At court, the judge told her that if she was still in the program in 30 days, her children would come home.
“I went into the Mission broken,” she says.
Thirty days later, right before Christmas, Desirie had her kids back. Her CPS case was later closed. “If I’m going to be completely honest, I didn’t think I was going to get them back,” she says. “That was the hardest thing I had to do.”
In those early months, fear kept her going. She was afraid of losing her kids again. Once her CPS case closed, something shifted. “That’s when I really started doing it for myself,” she says.
Looking back, she sees God’s hand in the wait. When she first got sober, she felt she had done her part. “I felt like, hey, I’m sober. Where are my kids?” she says. “I just wasn’t ready. He showed me I wasn’t ready. Then when it did happen, it’s all in his timing. He’s taught me patience going through this program.”
Rebuilding at the City Center
At City Center, Desirie’s family had a safe place to live. They also had something she hadn’t been able to count on in a long time: regular meals.
“It was a relief,” she says. “My kids were able to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner for free. They offered snacks for the children. My kids never went without.”After hotel rooms and a ranch with no running water, being able to sit her children down and feed them three meals a day was the first real relief she had felt in years.
The deeper work was harder. Through Searcy Center’s Genesis class and its workbook, Desirie named the false beliefs and old trauma she had been carrying. “I had to unpack a lot of stuff and not hold onto it,” she says. “I was holding onto a lot.”
Staff walked alongside her whole family. Her case manager helped her handle her children’s behaviors and her oldest son open up when he wouldn’t talk to his mom. “The staff was amazing,” Desirie says.
She also found a sisterhood. “We’d go through the worst and still come back together through prayer, through sisterhood,” she says.
“Having support from somebody who’s gone through something just like you. Like a family.”
There were days she wanted to run, even late in the program when she was in aftercare and working. One verse kept her in place: “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). “I didn’t know what to do,” she says. “I just know that scripture kept me still.”
“Now I’m doing it”
Today, Desirie is a graduate of the program and works for Fresno Mission on its Food Services team. Every day, she helps put breakfast, lunch and dinner in front of families who are right where she once was. She knows exactly what that plate of food means to a mom who has been worried about how to feed her kids.
That was no accident. “Seeing that they provided us breakfast, lunch and dinner, I’ve always had interest in being a cook, or part of the kitchen,” she says. “What I wanted to do was give back.”
When she reached the job phase of the program, the Mission helped her apply for subsidized childcare. Funding took time, so staff made a way in the meantime. Pablo Davalos, Director of Programs, approved her kids staying in daycare at the Discovery Center so she could accept the job and her supervisor shaped her schedule around her family. Once childcare came through, Desirie was able to move out on her own. Her babysitter has since become like family.
She now has her driver’s license, too, something she never had before. “I want to do things different now,” she says. “I want to do everything right.”…“Honestly, I didn’t think any of this was going to happen,” she says.
“I have five kids, five kids and working. I didn’t think it was possible. Now I’m doing it.”
She still works on self-doubt, and she leans on the faith she found in her lowest season. “I found him in my darkest moment, and he pulled me from it,” she says. “He met me in my mess. Just seeing what I came from reminds me I’m worth so much.”
Her advice to women that might be in her old shoes, “If you’re fully willing, this program could be life changing for you if you allow it to work,” she says. “You get out what you put in.”
You were part of this
Desirie did the hard work. She showed up, stayed still when she wanted to run and faced what she had been carrying. Every part of her journey was also made possible by people she may never meet: our donors.
Your generosity put food on the table for five children. It kept a room ready the day before her court date. It funded the case managers, the Genesis class and the staff who helped a hurting family learn to trust each other again. It made room for a job, a driver’s license and a home of her own.
“I was nothing without my kids,” Desirie says. “The Fresno Mission helped reunite me with my children, gave us a place to stay and helped me become a better mother.”
Right now, there are more mothers like Desirie who feel stuck and don’t know where to start. There are more children waiting to come home. Your gift today puts a meal in front of a hungry family and gives them the chance to change their story, just like Desirie.
